The Happy Place True to Character
by Grissom1
Summary: What should really happen when Sara leaves the second time? True to GSR characters...not like CBS
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. I don't want to…the show makes me sad, mad, disgusted, disgruntled, furious, uncertain, and last but not least wondering if there is a murder gene because I feel it every time the writers mess with our favorite characters.**

**Another disclaimer: **While I have repeatedly threatened to stop watching CSI, Peggy47 has prompted me to continue until the end….which is drawing near since I cannot and will not watch if they butcher the true characters of Sara and Grissom.

**Setting:** this is how the story should end…take notes CBS.

**The Happy Place **

**True to Character**

She opened the door, and he stood there drenched in the rain.

By the look on his face, she knew it probably involved a case.

She had become his source of information when it came to dominatrix life.

She didn't mind.

He was the one person she longed to find on her doorstep.

She loved him pure and simple.

He had saved her at a time when she did not wish to be saved.

He had come to know her as intimately as she knew him.

It wasn't a sexual relationship but more of the souls.

They each could sense when the other was "off."

It radiated from him the moment he stepped inside.

As he sat there in a chair, he rattled off the details of the case. She poised her body at the edge of the desk and gave him what he needed.

Of course, she could sense it was not information he needed.

He told her he sought information. But, she pointed out she had given him nothing that he could not have learned from a textbook. At that moment, his eyes gave him away.

He longed for comfort.

"Does Sara know you're here?" she asked as she stood there in front of him.

"Sara is gone," he managed to get out.

"She's away….but she's coming back," said Lady Heather.

Grissom shook his head. "She's uhm happy where she's at. She can't be happy in Vegas."

"Are you happy?" she asked stepping close to him.

"I'm uhm lost," he whispered. "I'm tired and sad, and I've lost all sense of…."

"Balance," she finished. "I feel it. Does anyone know you're here?"

He expected Brass to know where he would go for information.

Even Catherine would know.

He didn't care.

He just needed….her.

"Come with me," said Heather as she took his hand and led him to her private room. The outside noise of the dominion floated away and was replaced with silence.

Bless silence as Grissom stood there and listened.

"Submissive?" she purred.

"Yes," he said. "I prefer…"

"The submissive have control. You think you've lost that…not here. You're in control," she said.

He said nothing as he felt himself tremble.

"Lie down," she said.

He did not object as soon he was there on her bed. He did not bother to pull down the covers. He just lay there as she shut her door.

The lights were dimmed as she joined him on the bed.

"Turn around," she commanded.

He rolled over to face her.

"I want you to touch me," she said.

His trembling hand reached out and stroked her hair.

"Who do you want me to be?" she asked.

"Sara," he choked out.

"What do you want to do with Sara?" she asked.

"I want to bury myself into her and never leave," he said.

His hand stopped with the strokes.

"Continue," she said.

His hand sifted through the long strands of her hair.

"She cut her hair," he whispered. "I loved it long, and she cut it. It falls into curls…she doesn't like the curls…I do. She says she has no control over the curls. Always control," he whispered.

Heather shook her head.

"Sara is not in control," she said. "You are. She gave up the submissive role."

He looked at her.

"Sara waited patiently for you to love her. It took years…patience…but, in the end, she made you submit to her."

His chest heaved.

"Gil?"

He stared into her dark eyes.

"You're now the submissive. You now control her with that love. She can never be happy without you. You are her happy place," said Heather as she placed her hand on his chest where she felt his beating heart.

"Your heart belongs to her just as hers belongs to you. She sent that message letting you go…knowing that you were unhappy….she wants you to be happy….at the cost of her own…she fears you do not love her as deeply as she loves you. You have the control. You can crush her by letting her go, or you can submit and follow her. Isn't that what you want to do?" she asked.

He pulled her into his arms and held her tight.

"I want Sara. I need Sara. I'm not happy without Sara. I want my happy place back," he choked.

"Then you know what you need to do," she said.

"The lab needs me," he said.

Lady Heather shook her head. "The lab existed before you, and it will exist again without you. Can you exist without Sara?"

"I uhm don't know if….if that's what Sara wants," he said.

"What does your heart say?" she asked.

His lips rested on hers.

"Gil?" she whispered.

"I'm so tired, Heather," he said.

"Close your eyes and sleep," she said. "I'll watch over you while you sleep."

His head rested on her chest as her hands gently rubbed his back.

"Rest, and then put your plan in motion," she said. "Put your affairs in order, and then go to Sara."

"You make it sound so simple," he said.

"Can you survive any other way?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"Then sleep," she said.

"Heather?"

"Yes?"

"I do love you," he said.

She smiled.

"I love you, too. Go to Sara, Gil. Be happy."

It was the first peaceful sleep he'd had in weeks.

He woke to the feel of her body pressed tightly against his. He rolled over wanting to make love to her, but he stopped when he realized it was Heather.

"Soon," she said. "Soon, you'll be in your happy place."

There was a sense of urgency behind everything he did at the lab.

The others watched as he reviewed each case and cleared away the clutter on his desk.

Some thought he had finally come to terms with Warrick's death as well as the loss of Sara.

Some worried that he had settled for someone else; and perhaps, it was probably for the best since there was no indication Sara would ever return to Vegas.

Rumor in the grapevine was that Sara had sent a formal letter of resignation releasing herself permanently from the lab, Vegas, Grissom and everyone who had come to love her.

It had been mentioned to Grissom.

He did not seem to care.

It made Catherine more nervous as she hovered in a corner of the diner with Brass.

"I'm worried about Grissom," she said. "He acts like…"

"He's either putting his affairs in order, or he's moving on...going back to the way he was before Sara came to Vegas."

"What do you think he's going to do?" she asked.

"God, I hope he's leaving," said Brass. "He deserves to be happy. He was happy with Sara."

"No quip? No one liner?" asked Catherine.

"Want to go somewhere?" he asked.

Catherine stared at him.

"Look, we've known each other for….years…watched each other screw up our lives…helped each other fix our screwed up lives…"

"Yours or mine?" she said quickly.

"Maid came today," he said.

"Yours," she said.

He finished off the resignation and slipped it into the envelope. His bags were already packed, and Hank was waiting at home.

He walked through the lab as he stopped from time to time and shook a hand or patted a back. He even shook Hodges hand leaving him speechless.

All heads turned as they watched him stroll through the halls. He stepped out the door without hesitation as he went in search of his happy place.

Note from author:

I wrote this because I was sooooo mad at the last preview for the next episode. There are only three chapters…I know, do not faint. Please leave a review for each chapter.

Take care,

Penny


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Happiness Defined**

It had been hours since she had sent the taped video message to Grissom. She thought that her words would be hollow if she did not attempt to show him she was truly happy in this place.

The words of Tom Adler had bothered her. He sat there and spoke of how he had come to wish his wife's life would finally end so his could begin. He felt trapped, and yet, his loyalty pushed him to be faithful even though it was draining the very life from him.

Sara felt that way.

She felt she was doing exactly that to Grissom.

She felt that by hanging on to Grissom she was sentencing him to the same torturous misery as Tom felt.

Even though he had loved his wife, Pamela, Tom had finally let her go in order to save himself.

It was a mercy killing.

His wife was now at peace.

She longed for peace.

She needed it.

Grissom needed it.

She felt they would never feel happy again unless she let him go.

He should not have to suffer for her inadequacies.

He deserved to be happy.

She needed him to be happy.

Her love for him pushed her to take the matter into her own hands.

The pain would stop now.

It had taken every ounce she had managed to save over these months of solitude to sit before the web cam and appear to be happy.

She wasn't.

What little improvement she had made left when she had returned to Vegas for Warrick's funeral. She was thrust back into the ever reminder that she was no longer strong enough to face death. She wanted to run the moment the funeral was over, but she could not bring herself to leave Grissom.

Warrick's death had been difficult for Grissom and she had wanted to be strong for him again.

He needed her to be strong for her and…both of them.

She couldn't.

She felt herself slipping within a few days.

She knew she would have to leave in order to save him.

She, also, knew that without him she could not save herself.

Without him, her life was nothing.

Without her, she told herself, his life would be better…happier.

He was burning out.

She saw the same symptoms in him that drove her to leave.

He was loyal to the lab.

She was loyal to him.

In order to save him, she would have to leave him.

In order for him to keep from drowning, he would have to let go of the dead weight.

Sara felt she was that dead weight.

By staying, her self-destruction was inevitable, and, she would cause Grissom's demise as well.

She could not and would not do that to him.

Also, she knew that without him, her self-destruction was a matter of time.

He was the only man she had ever loved.

She would sacrifice her happy place in order to help him find peace and happiness.

She felt it was not with her anymore.

He had almost admitted it to her.

She had sat there in his office as he rationalized what Tom Adler had done.

She suddenly found him talking about their relationship rather than the Adlers, and she struggled to maintain her composure.

"Sooner or later, a relationship in stasis withers. You get angry. You need more than the safety of knowing that you're not alone," said Grissom as he kept his eyes from Sara.

"Then he should have just walked away," said Sara.

"Maybe he couldn't. Maybe he needed her to leave him," he said.

"Who are we talking about right now?" she asked.

He stared at her but said nothing causing her to quickly flee from his office.

He had wanted to hurt her, and he had accomplished that.

He hoped he had frightened her enough to force her to stay.

He could not bear the thought of watching her leave.

Of course, he had not actually watched her leave the first time.

She had left a note and disappeared out the door before he could stop her.

He wondered how she would leave this time.

Would she kiss him goodbye and let him see her walk out the door, or would she flee like she did last time?

He did not wish to think of her gone from his bed again.

If she thought Grissom's words stung, then Tom's hurt far worse. For here was a man who had dutifully stood by his wife's bedside for eight years.

As she sat there and listened to Tom, Grissom's words came back to her. Grissom had not been describing Tom and Pamela Adler. He had been describing their lives. She was sure of it at that moment.

"I realized the only person feeling any suffering was me. I wasn't living but I just couldn't move on and leave her there like that," said Tom Adler.

Sara swallowed her tears and anger.

_Grissom feels responsible for me…_

_He wants to move on but can't…_

_He's waiting for me to make the move…_

_Set him free…_

At that moment, everything seemed crystal clear.

Sara knew what she needed to do.

He deserved someone strong.

He deserved someone he could lean on.

She hurried back to the townhouse, packed her bags, and left without even a note this time. She ran so fast that she did not even stop to pet Hank as he whined at her feet. She threw the baggage in the car and sped to the airport, waiting for hours until the next flight.

Once she was in the air, she clutched her jacket around her body trying to hold herself together until she was back within the four walls she had called home in San Francisco.

Grissom sat there and listened to the young man.

He was confessing.

He did not care to hide what he had done. He merely gave an explanation for his actions.

As he sat there in the interrogation room with the young boy he began to identify with him.

It was an uncomfortable feeling.

_You're getting emotionally involved…_

_Step back Grissom…_

_Hide your feelings…_

_And your soul…_

The young man's words were much the same as those Grissom had screamed into his pillow night after night when Sara had left the first time.

_I got too old for her…_

_She only liked me when I was risky…_

_She promised me everything…_

_And then, she took it all away…_

He understood.

He felt every word.

It described him perfectly.

He threw down his notes and walked out without even speaking to Brass who stood outside the door. He grabbed his briefcase and hurried home.

He found a huge wet spot at the entrance.

He stepped over it and found Hank lying on the T- shirt she had worn the night before.

It still had her scent on it.

He knew at that moment she was gone.

He let the briefcase drop to the floor as he lay down on the bed and called for Hank.

The dog obediently crawled to his master's side as he stroked the dog's fur.

The dog whined over and over as Grissom wiped at his eyes.

It was his fault.

He had thrown the words at her.

"_Maybe he needed her to leave him"_

She had done just that, but she did not stop there.

There was no further contact.

The phone calls ceased.

The emails ceased.

Weeks passed, and the others once again began to question him about Sara.

It seemed no one knew where she was.

Her previous email address no longer worked.

Her cell number was no longer in service.

Everything stopped.

Oh, he knew where she lived.

That is, unless she had moved also.

He left that discovery up to Brass.

He tried not to react when he was told that Sara had left with no forwarding address.

She had definitely left.

He should be happy, right?

There was one last thing to do.

Her formal written resignation was sent in; and then, the final goodbye was delivered.

Grissom sat there and watched with his own eyes as Sara gave the performance of a lifetime, surely worthy of an Emmy.

Once the video was sent and the façade was over, she was reduced to a pile of tears and sobs and the need for a way to hinder the pain.

She had leased a small secluded house with a private beach.

She had dropped her few belongings onto the floor and had simply crashed.

She had not touched alcohol since the DUI.

Tonight, she had purchased a bottle of one hundred eighty proof and emptied glass after glass.

There was no one to tell her it was wrong.

The result was numbness. She welcomed it as she let the tears flow freely. She no longer needed to hide the complete and absolute desolation she felt at what she had just done.

As the bottle slowly emptied, she felt her body protest.

Once, her heart beat so rapidly she thought it would tire soon and just stop.

When she woke some time later, she cursed that it still beat.

She was now faced with how she would go on knowing she had said goodbye to the one thing that was home to her.

There was no happiness.

The dim light she harbored deep within her heart was now gone.

She had told him goodbye.

Hours drifted into days.

It did not matter to her.

She was adrift…her anchor now far away in Vegas.

She was sure he was happy.

Since there was the matter of Hank, it took Grissom longer to collect his suitcase once the plane landed.

The poor dog was in a state of confusion as Grissom opened the kennel cage and attached the leash.

"Let's go find Sara," said Grissom as he petted the dog.

**Note from author:**

Thanks to so many who have left a review. I am going to post the final chapter tomorrow. Keep happy thoughts on Thursday night. I truly believe GSR fans are the greatest…

Take care,

Penny


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Happy is Me and You and a Dog Makes Three**

He arrived at the small house unannounced.

If he had wanted to alert her, there was no way.

Besides, he was afraid she would reject him.

He was willing to beg…grovel…plead.

He had been able to track her down by the use of her credit card.

It was the one time he had used his resources to benefit his personal life, and it felt damn good.

His tap at the door came up empty handed.

He decided to bang a few times.

When there was no answer, he stepped around to the side of the house and saw a small figure sitting on the beach.

He released Hank and watched as the dog ran through the sand and, practically, mauled the figure.

She wrapped her arms around the dog and clung to him.

Grissom stood there for a moment unsure of himself.

The dog whined, and he found himself slowly making his way down to the beach.

Now, he stood there in front of her.

His knees dropped to the sand as he stared at her.

"Sara?"

The empty bottle lay by her side.

"I'm not happy," she cried.

"Me either," he said.

His hands gently assessed her condition. They cupped her face as he wiped away the wetness. He was sure it was not from the ocean.

"I uhm…" she did not finish as she wrapped her arms around him.

He attempted to kiss her but she turned away.

"I'm a mess," she cried. "Not strong or happy."

"Me too," he choked.

"Let's go inside," he said as he pulled her up.

He said nothing as he supported her.

Hank whined as he followed them.

He glanced down at the dog.

He had the same feeling.

They were worried about Sara.

Once inside, he did not stop until he found the bathroom. With one hand supporting her, his other removed her clothing. Her hands trembled as she removed his. The hot water felt good as he stepped in first, always keeping his hand firmly supporting her.

Her body molded into to his and they stood there for a few minutes letting their hearts beat in sync.

He slowly washed her hair as she stood there with her cheek against his chest. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his body. He then washed every inch, letting his hands glide down the curves he knew by memory. She was frail but strong. He kissed her lips when her head tilted up to stare into blue eyes.

"I never thought you would come," she whispered.

"I never thought you would let me go," he whispered.

She gulped as the tears fell but he kissed them away as he pressed her against the shower wall.

He wanted her.

This was his happy place.

Her left leg wrapped around his waist.

He was already aroused as he accepted the invitation.

One thrust and he sunk deeply inside her.

Her moan was stifled by his mouth on hers as he drank deeply.

She gasped when his hand lifted her leg and he drove deeper.

Her hands grasped the sides of his face as she tilted her head back and lavished in the feel of him inside her.

He thrust again and she felt herself teetering on the edge of bliss.

"Not yet," he whispered as he turned off the shower.

Her eyes shot open when she felt herself being lifted.

In one swift motion they were out of the shower and her body now lay on the bed.

She shivered from the cold but it was brief as his body covered hers.

His eyes focused on her face as he moved inside her.

She heard his soft voice whispering her name as if it was a sacred mantra.

She was caught in the urgency as her thrust matched his until they both climaxed.

Her head snuggled into his shoulder as he held her.

He grabbed a blanket that lay on a box in the middle of the room. He wrapped it around her as he sat up in the bed.

"We need to talk," he said.

She slowly nodded her head.

The house was cool.

"Want a fire?" he asked.

"Yes." She managed to get out as her teeth chattered.

She watched as he went to the living room and she heard the click of the fireplace.

Grissom turned and she stood there now still wrapped in the blanket.

He glanced around the room.

"How long have you been living here?" he asked.

"Days…weeks," she said.

"You haven't unpacked," he said.

"No, I haven't," she admitted.

"Do you intend to stay?" he asked.

She did not reply.

She turned now to face him.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"You make me happy," he said. "I want to be happy."

She gulped. "I haven't made you happy in a long time."

"You make me happy whenever we're together. I don't want to be alone again, Sara."

"I can't live in Vegas," she whispered.

"Neither can I," he said.

She looked confused.

"I left the lab," he announced. "I couldn't do it anymore."

"Because of me?" she asked sounding mournful.

"No, because I don't want to do it anymore," he said.

She curled into his lap, and he held her.

Hank wagged his tail.

"I think Hank is happy," smiled Grissom. "I am."

He kissed her at that moment letting his warmth fill her until color returned to her cheeks.

"I lied," she whispered.

"About what?" he asked.

"Being happy," she said between gulps of air. "I wasn't happy…in San Francisco."

"What makes you happy, Sara?" he asked.

"You…you make me happy," she whispered.

He smiled.

"Let's get you warmed up," he soothed.

He pulled her down onto the floor, and they lay there in front of the fire. He covered her with the blanket as Hank lay there on the couch content to have it to himself.

"Warm?" he asked.

She nodded slowly.

"How uhm much did you drink?" he asked.

"Finished the bottle last night," she confessed. "I sat there and waited for the tide to come."

"You spent the whole night on the beach?" he asked.

She said nothing.

He seethed.

His hands roamed over her body.

He heard her gasp for air.

Her head turned toward him and he saw pools of darkness in her eyes.

They wanted the same thing.

Her hands glided down his chest but he caught them, kissing each one.

"I thought we could walk in the footsteps of Darwin," he whispered. "Visit the Galapagos Islands."

"Just the two of us," she whispered.

"Well, and Hank," he added.

Hank's ears perked up.

Sara smiled.

"Me, you and Hank," she sang out.

He smiled at her, but it soon faded.

"Sara?"

She lay there now beneath him.

"You promised me everything, but then you took it all away," he stammered.

"I promised I would always love you," she clarified. "I do…until my last breath."

"I missed you….I missed us," he said. "I'm not like you. I thought I could wait for as long as it would take for you to come back; but then, Warrick died and I…realized how short life could be. I didn't want to waste any more time."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't stay in Vegas," she cried.

"I'm not," he admitted. "We needed to leave. You saved me…by leaving."

Their tears mingled as their lips touched.

Soon, their bodies entwined as he buried himself deep within her. He gently made love to her, and she gave herself to him over and over until they were exhausted. He protectively pulled her into his arms, and they slept there in front of the fire.

She woke to the smell of fresh coffee.

She rolled over, and he smiled at her.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked.

"About five hours," he grinned.

She groaned.

"Sore?" he asked.

She stretched but stopped suddenly when she felt a very warm dog at her feet.

Hank rose briefly as he wagged his tail just before his head landed on the floor once again.

"He missed you," smiled Grissom, "as much as I did."

She reached down and rubbed his belly.

His tail wagged tapping out a melodious sound.

"Hungry?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Good. You'll have to get up and shower," he said. "No food in the house. I won't ask when you ate last."

She rolled over onto her stomach and looked at him.

"I dreamed…this was just a dream…you were in Vegas…that you didn't come….I was trapped in the sand…while the water rose over my head," she whispered.

He found himself back on the floor as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I dreamed…of Warrick…I dreamed I was holding his blood soaked body. But then, it was you. And I was yelling at you…for leaving me…don't do this again," he begged.

She nodded.

She knew what he meant.

There would be no more alcohol binges.

"I'm sorry, Sara," he said softly. "I wasn't waiting for you to leave me. I never should have said that…I didn't mean it."

"Why uhm did you?" she asked sounding hurt.

"I was hoping it would frighten you into staying."

"It did frighten me," she whispered. "It frightened me that you wanted your life back…without me in it."

"You are my life," he said.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "The lab…"

"I don't care about the lab…it was just a job…you're my life…I don't need the lab to make me happy," he professed. "I need you."

Breakfast was delayed as he proved to her just how much he needed her.

She lay there panting as he tried to keep his weight off her.

"Don't," she pleaded. "I like to feel your body on mine."

"I'm too heavy," he breathed.

"You're too thin," he chided.

"Please," she begged.

He slowly lowered himself, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

"This feels right," she choked. "Nothing has felt right…until now."

He smiled. "I'm not sure we can stay like this."

"I love to feel you inside me…one…whole…complete…part of you…part of me…one…" she cried.

"Sara?"

"I'm not complete without you," she admitted.

"One cannot exist without the other," he whispered.

"Marry me," she whispered.

He grinned. "I believe I asked you first."

"I left," she sobbed.

He shook his head.

"You left Vegas…you didn't leave me," he reasoned. "Marry me, Sara."

"When?" she asked.

"As soon as possible," he replied. "Today."

"Today?" she asked.

"I think we've waited long enough," he said.

The wedding was simple.

Words were spoken in front of a magistrate.

They didn't even know the witnesses.

They didn't care.

They had witnessed it.

They had said the vows and then kissed and exchanged rings; and now, they were back at the beach house planning their honeymoon to the Galapagos Islands.

As they walked along together in the footsteps of Darwin, a rather huge happy dog followed along; his tail wagging as he watched his masters stop to admire a butterfly and then kiss.

Hank sat on his haunches.

He had learned to be obedient.

It wasn't every day when a dog found his happy place at the foot of his masters once more…both of them…together…once more.

And they lived happily ever after…

The End.

**Note from author:**

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read along and leave a review. Once again, I say that GSR fans are truly loyal and dedicated. I wish everyone the best. Keep happy thoughts about our favorite couple. We'll keep them safe and happy here in fanfiction.

Take care,

Penny


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